


What A Gem

by LadyAna5



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, Episode Related, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-10-26
Updated: 2000-10-26
Packaged: 2018-11-11 02:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11139507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAna5/pseuds/LadyAna5
Summary: This is a sequel to my story "Green-Eyed Monster". Read that one first! In this one, Ray must confront Fraser about the Mountie's relationship with Smithbauer.This story is a sequel to Green-Eyed Monster.





	What A Gem

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

  
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What A Gem by L.A.K.

 

 

 

**Pairings:** Fraser/Vecchio, Fraser/Male  
 **Teaser:** Sequel to   
The Green-Eyed Monster, read that  
one first.  
In this one, Ray must confront Fraser about the   
Mountie's relationship with Smithbauer.  
 **Notes/Disclaimer:** Thank the GODS for TwoAxes email group!  
Copyright to Alliance.  
 **Author's website:**  
http://ladyana5.tripod.com

* * *

##  What A Gem  
by L.A.K. 

 

Well, at least I got my answer about why I feel like this. This was  
such a bad idea. But I can't *really* say that, now can I? Fraser is  
having a good time and so is Mark. Finally, that is. I'm the odd man  
out, as usual. I can't honestly believe all three of us are here. Here  
I go through the time and trouble to make reservations for this place  
and the restaurant screws it up. And that's just the beginning.

I still am on this rollercoaster of emotions and I really don't know where I stand right now. Except on a few things, which I don't like, but decide to not deal with it at the moment. But being here at the Chinese food place makes it kind of impossible not to, now doesn't it? It's like the after effects of an adrenilin rush, when a gun is shoved in my face or when I'm damned postive the Riv is gonna explode this time with me in it . But none of that's happened lately. Lately. I smile at the irony. It fades fast cause I'm all jittery and drained. 

I can't let it go. I can't forget the locker room scene after practice between Fraser and Smithbauer a week ago. I go get Benny to give him a ride home, but when I turn the corner, Fraser is treating the cut on Mark's cheek like he's doing brain surgery. The puck had went beserk and landed right in Smithbauer's face, who brillantly wasn't wearing a helmet. Wouldn't want to keep that perfect face covered, now would we? And neither of them even *notice* me standing there. Score one for the puck. 

They are making idle chatter and Mark seems nervous, but compliant, keeping his eyes closed. Benny is just about fawning over the bandages and antiseptic like he's repairing a butterfly's wing. Suddenly, the Mountie blesses Mark's face with a stare and caress that has nothing to do with the healing process *I've* ever seen and I swear he's about to kiss Smithbauer after whispering something deep and soulful. Every particle of my existance ignites and I want to shove Benny through the wall and punch that fucking asshole Smithbauer back to the North Pole. Of course, I do nothing. I stand there shaking and shocked at myself, but so angry and possessive I could chew glass. The Mountie decides to not go through with his smooch and backs off. Finally, he sees me. Or maybe he's just now deciding to acknowledge that I'm there. Either way, I can't stop fuming. 

"Ray." 

He backs off like he's touched hot coal. 

"Am I interupting anything?" I quip before I can stop myself. 

Smithbauer blinks open his eyes, appearing generally confused. It helped to cool some of my temper that the guy wasn't a party to what just happened. 

"No, of course not." Fraser tells me, grinning broadly. 

Twenty-three seconds. I stare at him, wondering for twenty-three seconds if Fraser is lying to me. A few days later, I find out Smithbauer is staying at a hotel, which is weird as Hell, considering he was practically roommates with Fraser for almost the entire time he was here. 

To make matters worse, today I found Mr. Smile and Chest at the Consulate with Benny. Fraser says he'd like to take Mark to dinner since it would be Smithbauer's last night in Chicago. Mark suddenly insists on my coming along, which throws me for a complete loop and I feel like I'm looking at life through one of those circus mirrors. Hell, the guy seemed *eager*! So despite the fact the Riv has been having trouble and I know he only wants taxi service, Benny's face is full of anticipation, so I numbly agree. I suggest the newest place on the outskirts of town serving Cantonese, only to get a dense waiter and the food being delivered on the back of a snail. 

While driving there, I listen to the two of them talking. Benny tries to include me in the topic at hand, but it's painfully obvious I really don't get what they're going on about. Mark can't seem to shut his mouth, maybe for fear I might get a word in edgewise. He's rambling on about a game he played in a while back, exaggerating and embelishing to the highest. Fraser doesn't correct him *once*. Hell, he's obviously enthralled with Smithbagofwind. It makes me want to scream, 'Can't you see this guy is full of it, Benny?! You should be bored outta' your skull!' You're better than him, Benny. 

I am so distracted, I get us lost on the way there, but we find the place just fine after that. The service here is rotten, plus it took forever just to get our meals. Finally, the food gets here and it is *delectable*. Absolutely delicious. The generous portions and freshness make up for the stupid waiter and the sloth's pace it took getting to us. Still, I am mortified for insisiting on this place and for not listening to those who said it sucked. Fraser can tell how down I am and his mood lightens a little at least. Still, Mark seems upset over the trouble we had. I can't believe the nerve of this guy! Here he wants to go, wants me to come along with them, I drive him and Fraser here and all Mr. Hair and Chest can do is complain. I see he didn't offer to pay for gas or the meal! 

I don't say much despite it all. Why? Because I don't want to ruin this for Benny. He has such fun around Mark, and now the guy is leaving. When Smithbauer is upset, so is the Mountie. That niggling in my gut is telling me that Benny is just a little pissed off at me for not coddling Smithbauer, but I refuse to listen. Too much, anyway. It does, however, tip the scales in my favor. I'm not going to sit here thinking I'm wrong for being treated this way. I'm sick of being the third wheel in this little menage a trois. At that bizaar and shamefully arousing thought, I literally inhale my soda. 

"Ray?! Are you all right?!" 

Fraser pounds on my back as I sputter up Coke that now leaks fire through my nose. 

"I'm fine, Benny(cough). Really (cough), I'm fine." 

Unconvinced, he gives me this puppy dog stare while Mark checks out the score on the tube nearby. 

"Really, Benny, I'm okay." I say, supressing an itch in my throat. 

And so the conversation continues. The more I listen to them, the more I realize what a fish out of water Benny is here in Chicago. He identifies with Mark, who, of course, reminds him of home. Fraser relates to Smithbauer and it is apparent how *little* this filthy, corrupt, dangerous city has to offer Benny, how wrong it is for him to be here. How little I can give him. I can't help but to count the minutes until the subject begins gradually shifting to exclude me once again. 

This times it's about...(ewwwww!)*curling*. My God. I am embarrassed to be sitting here with these two grown men talking about that ridiculous activity which has enough nerve to be called a sport. Hockey at least requires some kind of skill, but that *shit*?! Hellfuckingno. It's like the church choir suddenly deciding to sing rap music - willingly zero class and zip on the quality. Slumming angels, a rare gem in the garbage. Maybe that's what Fraser has been here all along. And I don't appreciate them focusing on a subject I know zlich about. Where are your impeccable manners now, Benny? 

I look at Fraser listening to Mark and the Mountie's all excited. His face is bright, glowing and he can't stop smiling. He's *loving* this. Then again, he loves just about anything that man does. My heartrate goes beserk at that, but I play it cool. I fucking can't remember the last time I had that effect on him. Well, I guess the way I help support my family or how I daily risk my life in my profession, means nothing compared to a "sport" with men who stick their asses in the air to sweep ice. Besides, what the Hell would *you* know about true sportsmanship, Mark? Fuck, it burns me up. Nothing I have ever done has gotten this kind of reaction from Fraser and I hate it. 

Whether it's the caffiene or the late hour, but I suddenly realize how this must look to them. Here I am, being as silent as a corpse while they chatter on. I think maybe I'm being too hard on them. I haven't exactly been estatic over Mark being around as it is, so I decide to try to fit in. Bad move, Vecchio, bad move indeed. 

"So, when you sweep in front of the rock thingy, does that make it go faster or slower?" I blurt out. 

Mark has so little grace, he smiles, drops his head before he looks away to laugh. A wry grin comes to Fraser, who condesendingly informs me, "Faster, Ray. It makes it go faster." 

I freeze with humiliation and sadness. I can't believe Fraser is doing this. What else was I suppose to do? Wait in the goddamned car?! I have been as polite as possible to that jerk and *this* is what I get. I only wanted to make you happy, Benny. Someone is speaking and my brain is pushing around the cotton inside to hear the words. 

"Well, this occasion started out on a foul note, but it has improved greatly." Fraser says with a lift of his fork in the direction of Smithbauer, indicating the excellent quality of the food and the temper tantrum Mark nearly had. Fraser lifts his glass before he continues. "But of course a grand time is always to be had when celebrated with friends. To friends, gentlemen." 

I clink glasses with Fraser and The Enemy, now vaugely wondering which is the one I should be leery of. I wish to God I could just get up and leave. I despise being here, but I can't just go. Benny still needs a ride home. Why would I do such a thing, after the way he's been tonight? I know why. I hastily excuse myself to the men's room, but I know no amount of deep breathing or dismissing the problem is going to save me this time. I go into one of the stalls and try my best to control myself. My mind spins and years disslove, a scathing memory surfacing in all it's wretched glory. I use that information to cry silently, modestly. No huge outpouring. No sobbing or grief-filled wailing. Not a single soul would know what I was doing in here. It's a trick I learned back from when I was a kid and Pop would come to check up on us kids after a beating. I could cry for hours and no one could hear me. I haven't done this in years. Didn't have a need to. 

My God. I love him.  
And I don't know what the Hell I'm gonna do about it. 

I wash my face with cold water and go join the others. Fraser asks if I'm okay, to which I say my allergies are bugging me. It looks like he buys it. Then, of course, I discover the reason he doesn't question it is because Mark is getting ready to leave. Mr. Chest has pretty much ignored the fact we haven't even finished eating. He stands to say his thank-yous and goodbyes. He extends his hand to me and I shake it without thinking, thrilled to know he'll be gone soon. Fraser takes his hand, but is standing by then and embraces Smithbauer. He holds his friend like the man is dying, not just going home. 

He turns his head into Mark's neck for a few seconds and I *know* by Benny's expression, he is smelling him, restraining the urge to taste the skin under his lips. It makes my guts cold with a hate and impotent rage I usually reserve for certain convicts. Smithbauer says something about the time his plane leaves and that he has to get back to the hotel and something inside me snaps. If he thinks I'm going to offer him chauffer service, he can forget it! He can find his own way back! I am not, I tell myself, I am *not* bending over for him anymore. The scorching mental image of Benny doing just that for Mark burns it's way through my brain and the next thing I know I'm grabbing Fraser, practically dragging him through the doors and into the small, nearly deserted parking lot, ignoring his pleas the entire time. 

I throw him in the direction of the Riv and I stand there, facing away, breathing so hard, I think I'm gonna' faint. When I think I can speak and keep my food down, I start to relax a bit. 

"Ray?" 

His tone is quiet, bewildered. I don't blame you, Benny. I feel the same way. 

"I'm sorry." I say, hoping I can salvage this. "Can we just go home?" 

"Sure. Let me tell Mark-" 

"NO!" I scream. "No! Just leave him, Benny." 

"Why?" 

"He'll be just fine." 

"But I just want-" 

"What, Benny?! *What* do you want?!" I face him, but I can't bring myself to say it. I'm not ready to use the right words, but I MUST know or I will go even crazier. "What is he to you?! What are you to him?! What were you two?!" 

He opens his mouth to speak, but his eyes are looking away, at the ground, anywhere but me. They are wide with fear and his cheeks are a frosted pink. I can almost smell that honey-coated lie coming, the kind that is really a non-answer or only half-honest, when the truth is so well disguised, no one could recognise it once the Mountie got done with it. Guess what, Benny? I ain't in the mood. 

"DON'T you dare lie to me! I *saw* you! Damn it, you nearly kissed him - HIM - last week! So don't try to deny it." I sneer at him with a vicious point in Mark's direction. "Now TELL me WHAT the Hell is going on between you two!" 

Now he's staring at me, his eyes still big, but they seemed more shocked this time than anything. His jaw is slack, but only a little. It's like he can't believe I'm saying this. Well, I'm tired of being your doormat, Benny. 

"Why...why do you care, Ray?" He says, his voice full of wonder. 

He's honestly curious, not in the least bit angry. And while looking into that gentle face, I can't find my voice. For a thousand reasons, I can't walk away, I can't even move. His lips do that pursing thing and my groin flushes with warmth, even while standing in the cold of winter. I have to turn away because I know next he'll lick his lower lip and I can't handle that. I just can't. Not right now anyway. I haven't really thought of him like that. Well, that's not exactly true. During the day, I keep from touching him as much as I can resist and keep my eyes elsewhere as much as possible. As if that would work forever. If I counted the dreams that are so intense they wake me up and the jacking off sessions that occur afterward while half asleep, then I'd have to say I do want him. But it hasn't been deliberate. Yet, anyway. I deep breath to keep from losing it all over again. I've given too much away as it is. 

"We were lovers." he says and my heart does a flip and I die a little inside. "When we were much younger, that is." he concludes, letting me absorb the information. "I did want to rekindle that connection we had earlier, but it did not come to pass." 

"W-what?" I hear myself saying. "You mean you didn't..." 

"No, Ray I didn't sleep with him. But, I did want to." 

How can the truth be so totally bittersweet? Where the Hell am I going with this anyway? So what if they didn't screw? Fraser sure as shit doesn't feel that way about me, so what difference does it make? I'm still scared for him to find out. I just couldn't handle the rejection, Benny. Not after all this. 

"It hurts you though, doesn't it?" he tenatively inquires, "For me to share myself so...intimately with him. It hurts you deeply." 

He knows. Sweet Jesus, he knows. 

"Yeah, Benny. Yeah, it does." 

"Why?" he asks knowingly. 

I'm tired now. I just want this to stop. I want it over. 

"You know why, Fraser! Don't play dumb now." 

"As opposed to playing dumb another time, Ray? I just wanted to be sure." 

"Well, you were right, okay? I don't like the idea of you bein' with him." 

I can hear him walking closer a couple of steps. 

"With anyone...but you?" 

How the Hell do I answer that? I *think* I'm in love with him. This is so much different from Irene or Angie or the others. He means so much to my life. Still, I'm just a big mixed bag of feelings right now, so I don't think it's a good idea to be professing my 'love' when even *I* don't know what the Hell is going on. 

"I don't know, Benny. I think so, but I'm not sure." 

"I understand." 

Of course you do. 

"How can you?!" I snap. 

"Because I once felt the same for you." 

"Excuse me?!" I say, facing him and feeling a little dizzy. 

"I did, not long after we first met. After I realized you were not the insensitive boor you'd made in your first impression," Fraser says in this matter-of-fact way, "I came to see other aspects of you and your personality that I found most attractive. However, it was very apparent that you were not in the least inclined in that direction, so I ceased in my pursuit of you." 

Suddenly, I get the feeling I'm being mocked here. The idea Fraser ever felt that way for me is just stupid and the fact I do feel that way for him is just a really bad curse, not some great thing to celebrate. I let him know I am NOT pleased with his patronising me. 

"How the Hell do you figure that, Benny?! Oh yeah, sure, Mark and I look a lot alike! I can see how you'd want me then! Same smile, same hair, same chest, it's all clear to me now!" 

The Mountie folds his arms and informs me in what has to be his most obnoxiously honest voice, "Actually, Ray, my interest in you has always been not only for your inner-character traits, but from a much cruder standpoint." 

He gives me this open stare, a silent challenge for him to continue. Dreading the news, but knowing I'll go postal unless I find out, I take him up on his offer. 

"What do you mean?" I whisper, my own eyes now filled with fear. 

A quick swift of the Mountie's eyes up and down my body ends in a shrug. "Well, I have seen you unclothed, Ray." My throat closes up and I swallow dryly. My erection, however, knows something is, er, up. 'Sugar Ray' is starting to wave furiously to get the Constable's attention. Meanwhile, Benny keeps talking. "It is rather obvious that your Mediteranian background has blessed you in certain respects which I surprisingly found entrancing and stimulating, and even in a flacid state, there seemed to be much to offer, as it were. But of course, totally fruitless to persue. At least, until now." 

Deflated. Completely deflated. My anger is gone, just like that. Only he has that ability, to take a full-fledged Vecchio-named hurricane and reduce it to a mild spring shower. *That* is why I love him. Still, I have to hear the American tranlation just for my own sake. 

"Benny, did you just say you wanted me because you saw that I'm hung?" 

He laughs, a full rich sound. And Smithbauer is nowhere around. See, I can make you laugh too. 

"Yes, Ray, your assesment is correct. However," he says as he steps closer, "I must let you know that the reason I did not sleep with Mark wasn't just because he's straight now, but because I don't love him. Plus, he's...rather nervous being around me as of late, seeing I tried to ah, persuade him." 

I fold my arms. "You put a move on him." I state. 

"Yes, I did. That is the reason he insisted on your presence tonight and why he is staying at a hotel. It seems he is more comfortable in the presence of someone I had previously declared 'just a friend'"." 

I look at him dumbfounded. "Previously?" I squeak. 

"Yes." he chimes in encouragingly. "If you so desire, Ray." 

At that, my cock shivers and I want to grab him close, but again I can't bring myself to budge. Then, Benny is coming near me, his face resigned, his arms wrapping around me. My erection touchs his thigh and he freezes. We both do. He slowly rests his head on my shoulder. 

"I'm sorry," he murmmurs. "for the way I've...been lately. I didn't know. You should've told me." 

"It's okay. I didn't know how." I say, still shocked I'm holding the man of my NC-17 dreams. 

He backs off. "Let's go home, Ray." 

"Fraser!" 

We both look and it's Smithbauer, waving and smiling. A taxi is pulling up in the parking lot for him. Which means he was close enough to hear everything we said to one another. He's smiling, though, and he give us both the thumbs up sign. "Good luck! Both of you!" he shouts as he hops in the cab. 

I feel terrible for Benny now that Mark is gone. I turn to Fraser and sigh dramatically. 

"Oh, Hell." I say. 

"What is it, Ray?" 

"It looks like I'm gonna' have to learn to skate, right?" 

Fraser looks perplexed by the statement, then laughs again. "No, Ray, no you don't." Obviously, he thinks I'm joking. 

"No, I'm serious, Benny." I say, making my way to the Riv. "You teach my how to skate and I'll stop puting down curling." 

"Now Ray, that's just silly." he says while getting in the car. 

"True, but I'll do it. Agreed?" 

He blesses me with a radiant grin that makes my stomach quiver. 

"Sure, Ray. That sounds fine." 

And for the first time since they got me on the ice as comic relief, I actually looking forward to getting cold, wet and sore playing hockey with Fraser. Of course, I know it will also include a lot of warming up, drying off and letting 'Sugar Ray' get to know the wilds of Canada. Minus one Mr. Hair and Chest. 

END 

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